Thursday, June 22, 2006

Happy 36 To Me on June 27

When I was 17 it was a very good year.

It was a very good year

for flirting with girls the best I could,

which wasn't very good,

I was shy and in between,

when I was 17.

When I was 21 it was a very good year.

It was a very good year

for a girl with brunette hair,

and legs up to there,

We had all kinds of fun,

when I was 21.

When I was 35, it was a very good year.

It was a very good year

for a boy with dreads down to there,

there were no lies, no loss,

just a never-ending love,

When I was 35.

posted by Jay @ 10:22 PM 2 comments

Friday, June 16, 2006

Things That Drive Me Mad

Cab snipers
$20 bills from the ATM
Mean people
People who think they know without listening first
Parking
Earthquake fear
Dysfunctional boards
People who don't pay attention and expect you to laugh off their mistakes
Lack of discipline
Panhandlers who say, "Oh, so now you're gonna talk back to me!"
People who call too often and have nothing to say
Exhaustion
Getting to the movies early - then being asked by a late arriver if I mind moving over one seat - fuck you!
Pocket change
When the cab meter clicks over just as the cab is stopping
Spotty wireless Internet connections
Gene Shallot


posted by Jay @ 8:04 PM 3 comments

Monday, June 12, 2006

The Things I Miss

I once blogged about "The Things I Love," which was a follow up to an essay by the same name that I wrote as a teenager -- leading me to win a statewide writing competition.

I'm now writing an essay called, "The Things I Miss" after coming out.

My parents
My alma mater
My church family
My sense of self -- which could have been drummed out in spite of my coming out
My singing career
My life as I knew it

Now why would anyone come out if it wasn't for good reason?


posted by Jay @ 11:33 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Target = Tar-jhay

In college and the years that followed, my friends and I referred to the discount superstore Target as "Tar-jhay," creating a faux french word that made our discount shopping feel a bit less WalMart and a smidge more Saks. Er, Macy's. Moving to New York, I found that "Tar-jhay" was widely used colloquially.

Have you noticed lately in TV ads that Target has begun publicly embracing the slang? They use a series of french words -- "tres this" and "tres that" -- and wind it up by incorporating "tres Tar-jhay" at the end of the commercial.

Maybe this isn't new -- and maybe Target itself embedded the french slang into American culture so many years ago. But my Target awareness has been piqued again because of a recent visit after maybe six years away from mass discount stores.

You see, my office was robbed recently and I was in the market for a new stereo. I had purchased my stereo (thankfully) at a thrift store. (The robbers skipped the computers in my office -- going instead for the thrift store stereo and the top of my shredder. Not the whole thing. Just the top of the shredder. Perhaps they needed a cheese grater.) But back to the stereo. It had a five CD changer, bass boost and surround sound. All sorts of shizz.

This weekend I happily found a Tar-jhay that was just off of a BART stop (not having a car). I grabbed a friend and off we went. It was the re-education of Mr. Me, let me tell you. It's a bold new world at Tar-jhay and I wasn't prepared.

Did you know they don't sell regular stereos at Tar-jhay anymore? All they had -- save for two ridiculous little jobbers in the corner -- were white spacey-technoey sound devices that allow you to plug in your iPod. Your iPod! Not any old regular MP3 player (which I have in my phone).

Disgruntled and feeling behind the times, I decided to soothe myself by leaning on my big orange plastic cart and pace around the store a bit. Ah, the things I could find! But none of it truly appealed to me -- and secondarily, I didn't actually need any of it. Except a nose and ear hair trimmer. What has it come to?

But not to get off point -- yes, I realize a nose and ear hair trimmer could warrant a post unto itself -- the second slap in my "behind-the-times" reality check came when I noticed that I kept bumping the end of the cart into the shelves. Not having had any alcohol before or during my trip, I was confused. And then it slowly came to me that Tar-jhay had made its carts larger. They've super-sized their carts! What is this country coming to? Did some hugh consulting firm tell Target they should super-size their carts and Americans will buy more? Undoubtedly.

So they've discontinued big, fat grey-black CD-changing stereos. Added two inches to the end of the end of the shopping cart. Begun calling themselves Tar-jhay. And all I need when I visit my local Tar-jhay is a nose and ear hair trimmer?

I must have passed unaware into some middle-aged oblivion. Can cataracts be far off?

Happily, I can't say I'm concerned beyond a half page blog entry. I think I'm going to enjoy the second half of life -- stereo or not.


posted by Jay @ 5:50 AM 2 comments